Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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