your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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