i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
