So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize