I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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