he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
