Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
