Me too!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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