i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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