talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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