the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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