Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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