Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
