If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
you never un-have a 4some
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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