Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
