I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
