I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
