I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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