found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
