What did we do last night that was yellow?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize
