You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
