If that was your dad, he is hot
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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