i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
