I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
