I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
