it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
