Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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