I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
