And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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