i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
