i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
