am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
