Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
