Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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