I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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