The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
