YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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