im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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