these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
