So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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