I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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