You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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