i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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