I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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