God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
