new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize