thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Randomize
