you mean i was at the winter classic?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
