Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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