you win again, gameday.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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