wakey wakey hands off snakey
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
