like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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