Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
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