do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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