we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
