Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
