i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
