Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
