your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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