You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
