He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
