Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
