We named our party play list daddy issues
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
