Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
