omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
