you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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